i can't convince you...

because i won't convince you...

because i'm tired of trying...

soo i'm give up on you

and so i'm through..

.. with you.

hello again...

i've been pretty emo lately! but just yesterday I WAS SOOO HAPPY! cuz exams were finally over which means i got my summertime!

 yesterday my aunt treated me out and surprisingly i thought it was just gunna be me and her but nope she brought her bf (of course) and then surprisingly and RANDOMLY she introduces me to david and i'm just like WTH i already know him.. hahah small world? ehh oh well.. soo it was kinda like a double date? but not really more just like chillan with a friend cuz i haven't seen him since grade 11 summer.. mmm and that he moved to victoria cuz of UVic. anyway we all went roller blading along the seawall twas pretty dope! then went for all you can eat sushi... yeah i'm officially sick of sushi! hahah  = yeah i had a good time. Then i come home to chaos..my dad yelling on the phone, my mom stressing out on her cell and my house is like a complete mess cuz of all the pasalubong crap and boxes everywhere..

soo like i find out that my aunt in the PI is in the hospital and thats why my dad's been so stressed and my mom's just going through her usual day of being stressed and i know i should be feeling sad or having at least an emotion... but i don't feel anything like as if i don't really care about it but i should... i dunno i don't understand myself. I guess i've just been preoccupied with other things on my mind that i need to let go. uhhhh everytime i think of doing something my mind starts to wonder, and i start of think of it and the whole damn situation which then i get emo. i really need this vacation i know it will help me clear my mind and let go of certain things. i think my mom's been noticing that i've been all emo, which is surprising cuz she's usually is in her own world or work and whatever she does, that she asked if i wanted to eat out and usually i would but i didn't..i dunno lately i've just been pissed, annoyed, confused, frustrated, happy, sad i don't even know! i'm like experiencing all these emotions and my brain is getting confused on how i should be feeling! .............. damn i can't wait to get out of here!

God damn my spinning head
Decisions that made my bed
Now I must lay in it
And deal with things I left unsaid
I want to dive into you
Forget what you're going through
I get behind, make your move
Forget about the truth

I still don't have the reason
And you don't have the time
And it really makes me wonder
If I ever gave a fuck about you

Give me something to believe in
Cause I don't believe in you anymore
Anymore
I wonder if it even makes a difference,
It even makes a difference to try
And you told me how you're feeling
But I don't believe it's true anymore
Anymore
I wonder if it even makes a difference to cry
So this is goodbye

So this is goodbye

HI xanga rememeber when i said i would only come back when life's pullin me down... well im back...

doesn't a guy who likes you want to show you off? ..... unless of course...... you're being used!

FREAKIN'  A!!!!

soo what do ya do when you like him  or in fact you're just not even sure how you feel and you have all these emotions bundled up together that you just continue on what your doing and your not sure if he does like you or if he's just using you..... and your just possibly waiting for the day when you know he will  hurt you...

sooo i haven't used this for... EVER! but right now i feel the need to just rage! cuz THIS WHOLE DAY and YESTEDAY have been sooo ANNOYING!!!

and...I HAVE NEVER FELT SOOO ANNOYED IN MY LIFE!

I FEEL LIKE GOING DOWN TO THE P.I. NOW and STABBING THAT EFFING STUPID BIATCH fucking STUPID HOE $350 my ass! oh and another thing.. GET OVER YOUR EFFING SELF THINK YOUR THE SHIT AND ALL!

ahhh that feels better.... hahah

i'll probably be back to rant more about it

NEWYEARSEVE' you've been AWESOME too many laughs and retarded moments and reminiscing. 2006 you've been great and  2007 IM READY FOR YOU.. WOOT GRAD'07!!!